We lead a Life Group on Wednesday nights. I've never blogged about Wednesday nights. I should more.....Wednesday nights are so awesome (not where my blog was heading)....Anyway, so we just started another group last week on Tuesday nights (not we as in Sean and I leading it) Nathans leading it and Sean and I (and Jenna) are hosting it. Its a speaking and leadership group. Really intense. Two people have to get up and speak each week. I am really really terrified of it, like shaking, nauseas, terrified. I am so not a public speaker, whatsoever. Give me a mic and i'll get up and sing in front of anyone, but speak in front of them, absolutely not. I am just so awkward! Constantly tripping over my words. Not eloquant in any way. But God keeps pointing me in this direction, of speaking. I am Moses. Constantly going to God and telling him I can't do it, giving excuses.....I feel for what Moses says to God 110% "Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue"....this is my life. I feel like I walk around in constant fear over this...always feeling like the dumbest one in the room, sticking my foot in my mouth all the time. And God says back to Moses (and myself) "Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak" I am so thankful for Moses and this passage. I am thankful for Tuesday nights....it will grow me and stretch me like crazy....but I can have confidence that God will be with my mouth, teaching me what to speak. Bring it on Tuesdays!!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
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4 comments:
WORD G!!! hehe...
you can totally do this rebecca... shooot, when necessary, i'll even hold up your arms (like moses' friends did for him during battle)... and throw wet towels in the dryer for you when all the madness passes. ;)
what an honor to be a part-hostess with you!!!
Sounds like a great group! I'll be praying for your confidence. I remember when I was a missionary and was suddenly told that speaking at different conferences/churches around the nation was part of my job description. WHAT! But was faithful to speak through me when I opened up for him and made myself forget about what I thought I should say or how I should say it. The Holy Spirit will guide you. Just breath, trust, and praise God. You'll be awesome!
Love that God is empowering you and that you are listening and obeying him! You are going to be awesome!!
...and I'm the opposite!
Except, if God told me to get up and sing in front of people I would flat out refuse...no amount of support could get me through that...haha!
You'll do great!!! :)
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