Throttle back!

This is a picture of Skylar at school. Sitting at her desk. WITH HER BOYFRIEND!!!

To my surprise Skylar has liked this boy for quite a while, and he has been her boyfriend for some time now. But I would never know any of this because my daughter doesn't talk to her mom about these kinds of things...in fact, she is a closed book. But another mom in the class was privvy to ALL kinds of information about MY daughter and her boyfriend! So I confront Skylar about this one day (after I had had time to calm down and collect my thoughts)...

Me-"Skylar, you have a boyfriend at school??" and fyi, this is me trying really hard to play this conversation really cool...
Sky- nervous laugh "nooo, not anymore"
Me- nervous laugh back "what do you mean not anymore?"
Sky- "We broke up, Mom"
Me- more nervous laughter "ohh, you broke up? how do you know what breaking up is?" HOW DOES SHE KNOW WHAT BREAKING UP IS?????!!!!
Sky- "I just don't like him anymore, ok"
Me- "ok, so, like, his name is Tyler?"
Sky- "HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?"
Me- "I know things Skylar, I'm your Mom....its my job...soo, you broke up? did he break up with you?"
Sky- "Ugh, nooo."
Me- "so did you guys really break up?
Sky-"no"
Me- again, the nervous laughter "ohh, cool...so, how are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend? do you like sit together at lunch?"
Sky-"Pshh, no, i sit with Kensey!"
Me-PHEW "so do you play together at recess"
Sky-"yah, he chases me"
Me-"ohhh, fun,"
ME-"so does he hold your hand?"
Sky- "EW, NO MOM!!"
Me- deep breath, bracing myself for this next question "has he kissed you?"
Sky- "EEEEWWWWW!!!! NOOOO!!!!! THATS GROSS MOM!!!"

HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF

WHATS HAPPENING? WHY AM I HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH MY 5 YEAR OLD???!!!