Re-do

We painted our room when we first moved in....absolutely HIDEOUS!! Everytime I walk back there I want to punch myself in the face.....It was a terrible terrible green and brown (I don't ever want to think about it again). So I've been dreaming and looking at magazines for ideas for bedrooms. Finally found something that inspired me, so I've just been sitting on it for a few months. Sean worked such a crazy week last week that I decided I would dive into re-doing my whole room. Saturday I started painting (seriously thought I'd be done with all of it on Saturday.....I don't know what I was thinking). Took 3 straight days of working on it...but now its DONE and BEAUTIFUL!!! I am SO excited.....Still have a couple more things I want to add (headboard that I'm making, and a HUGE city scape poster)....but other than that, its done.

Everything went BLACK!....i like black....always have....

Apology

I need to share my yesterday. Yesterday was amazing. I started the day in such a negative mood, I had posted a blog Saturday stating I hated Mothers Day......so let me explain. I do Hate Mothers Day, still. My reason: Really? A day supposed to be just for us? How practical is that with 3 small kids? Not. And then there is all this added pressure to do something phenomenal and monumental to let my mom know how much I love and appreciate her......so to me, its just a day of MORE work. I love my mom. We have a fantastic relationship, but I don't need a day to tell her how much I love her and yada yada yada....she knows that. So I just feel like its this day full of pressure, and work....NOT a day to relax, especially when Sean works all day, being amazing and putting out a huge brunch at the Club.

So I started yesterday like I would any other Sunday morning...getting up at 6 and starting to get everyone fed and dressed so we could leave the house by 8 to get to church to help set up....so I get to church and of course get inundated with "Happy Mothers Day's", which I was so rude and responded to, "Yah, whatever" (my apologies...and some point in my life I will learn to shut my big mouth and not wear ALL my emotions on my sleeve)

So church starts and Jenna and I are up leading worship and after the first song she reads Ps 118 "THis is the Day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it" ANd "Whhooaaa" God woke me up out of my stupor and said, "Its NOT about YOU Rebecca, this is My day! Rejoice and be Glad in it!" Snapped me right out of my negative attitude...this IS Gods day, and it IS a day to rejoice and Honor my Mom, and Honor my children and take joy in them, how is that so bad? And I get to go out to lunch with my family, how is that bad either?

What a great day yesterday was!!

Mothers Day

I hate Mothers Day.

God is moving

Don't quite know what God is doing, but He sure is stirring and moving a ton in me right now....Just got back from our "God Dreams" Conference. So great. I feel like God is bringing me to this whole new place with Him. I am so excited. I feel so full of joy.

Gods Tears

I am not an emotional girl. Never have been. It takes a whole lot for me to cry. I used to do the whole pretend tears when I was in High School when all my girl friends would be crying over a sappy movie, or when we lost to Etna in the Finals for Basketball, every girl on my team was crying, me...fake tears. I don't even think I cried after my births. My eyes got moistened on our Wedding day, no tears though. When a friend is crying on my shoulder, nothing comes. I have a big blow out tear session for about 3 minutes every like 3 or 4 months, but other than that, my eyes don't see a whole lot of moisture. Don't get me wrong though, I still have a heart, and it breaks for poeple...but no tears ever come of it.

Except for recently.

Its been so wierd! For the past month or so when my heart breaks (which has always been the extent of my feelings) tears have been coming out!! Taking me totally off guard. I keep thinking, Oh, I must be about to start my you-know-what, or maybe I'm having an emotional day.....but it just keeps happening. So wierd.

And the crazier thing is that I feel like the more I pray about stuff, God is actually giving me HIS tears. I pray like crazy for my family, for marriages within my family, and kids and heartbreaking things that are going on, and while I am driving around thinking about my family, I have tears flowing down my face. I KNOW they are not MY tears, cause thats so not me, so I know they are Gods tears. I feel Gods heart breaking within mine. Its awesome because I feel One with my Maker, I feel like He is sad with me, and hurting with me, but in its wake I know He is in control and He brings Hope.

And its not just stuff with family, its starting to happen in so many other areas. Its just starting to get wierd. I'm beginning to be an actual girl.......

Holy Spirit

Nate started whats going to be (and was) an amazing series on Acts.....and I've just been thinking so much about the Holy Spirit and the power we have living inside us. Its something we have talked a lot within our Life Group, having a power within us and tapping into what God has placed within each of us, and what that looks like. So if it keeps coming up, its something that God is obviously really trying to get accross to us.

I was reading Acts 1 and 2 this morning......and in ch.1 Jesus tells his Disciples that in a few days they will be baptized with the Holy Spirit, and there seems to be this hype building about the Holy Spirit coming, an excitement...something is coming that is going to indwell in them and give them Power.....they were in prayer constantly about it, anticipating this indwelling. And then when the Holy Spirit did come upon them at Pentecost, it wasn't this little thing that they wondered, "So, do I have the Holy Spirit now? Has it come upon us yet? How will we know?" , no it was a powerful moment. "Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a wiolent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that seperated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them." How amazing!! I can't even imagine being a part of something so powerful. And then after this Peter talks to thousands about Jesus' death and the people were finally "Cut to the heart" and 3000 were baptized that day......So it took this crazy indwelling of the Holy Spirit to come over all these people for a revival to start, doesn't that sound like something we couldn't fathom being a part of??!! And this is what has been cutting me to the heart, WE ARE! We have this crazy power within us....it must Kill God that He gave us the most expensive, beautiful, powerful gift, and we leave it stashed somewhere in the corner with 10 layers of dust collecting on it. How stupid do we have to be? Can you imagine if after pentecost if the Disciples would have been like "Well, that was cool....but Jesus is gone now, so back to the boat to catch a bunch a fish today"....We would be reading the Bible saying, "Seriously?! All that to just go back to a mundane job catching fish?...How could you just do that after experiencing God? How stupid!".......

I am done being Stupid and leaving my present to collect bugs and dust......I am done with buying the lie that I am too young to do anything of any importance....I am done with believing Satan when he tells me I am dumb, or not educated enough, I am soooo over constantly feeling shamed for having no education....I am so ready to walk in this power, to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to experience healings, people raising from the dead, awaking the Dead around me, to live in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfullness and, self-control....to be where Jesus is. I am done with waiting for things to happen....I am so ready to start living it out, on a daily basis.....Being Full of the Spririt.

Happy Woman

Its raining. Been raining constantly for two straight days. #1-This makes me a very very happy woman and #2-It waters my dying flowers for me (God knows how terrible I am at watering my flowers....).....hmmmmm.....life is good....
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