Mold

Here we are, living in Oxford Suites. Been here 1 week. 5 people crammed in to a hotel room.

A few weeks ago we started smelling really strong mold in our Master Bathroom. Kept getting stronger and stronger. Started noticing it in the hall closet (which shares 2 walls with the bathroom). Didn't know what to do about it. So someone said our Insurance should cover mold. So we called our Insurance, they came out did a couple inspections, had a couple plumbers do inspections and yep, deemed it un-liveable. So happy since we were all suffering from terrible headaches, sore throats and coughs.

We got here last Monday. They told us that day that we'd be back in a week....one week later, they haven't even started on our house yet! Which is ok, we're having a great time! The first few days here I was so depressed. Didn't want to be out of my home, felt so unsettled, not sure what to do, where to go. But Thursday of last week I decided I'm gonna take advantage of where we are. We're here. We're being paid to be here. All our meals paid for. Hot breakfast every morning. I leave the room and hang a "maid service" sign and come back to a clean room. That in itself is worth it!! Anyay, I just feel like this is Gods way of telling me to slow down, focus on my kids and my family, and ENJOY it!! Rest. No housework! No cooking! TONS of family time. Time to hang with my kids, play with them, crack down on discipining. I have no distractions. My whole day is dedicated to them. I find myself actually wanting to just hang in the room, just chill. I am so thankful for this time.

Oh yah, and by the way, we get a brand new Master bathroom and hall closet out of it! Completely taken care of by our insurance!

SURPRISE!!

I pulled off the greatest feat last week. Surprising Sean. Its never been done. Literally. Can't even surprise the darn guy on gifts, he guessess his presents on his birthday AND christmas EVERY year. Even when i wrap it in a crazy box with rocks, he still knows. Its always bafelled me. He is way too smart, which drives me UP THE WALL. So this year, for his 30th, I attempted the unattemtable. Didn't think in a million years that I was actually gonna be able to do it. I was confident in someone (ah hem, his Dad) ruining the whole shabang, but to all of our surprise, he did so well! I, on the other hand was an absolute nervous wreck. For two weeks. I've literally never been more nervous. My stomach was in constant knots, i've never visited the ladies room so many times in a day, every day. Somewhere between ALL the lying I was having to do, and ALL the planning, I almost had a nervous breakdown.

Timeline: (i'm into these lately)

Thurs: Do all the shopping and food prep at my moms. Lie to sean 50 times in one day.
Thursday night: Seans WHOLE family drives up from Baks and stay with my parents.
Fri morning:
7:30-8:30-act as cool and nonchelant as possible while Sean takes his sweet precious time getting ready, hanging with the kids, texting, hanging. All the while i'm screaming at him in my head to get the heck out of the house!
8:31-watch Sean pull out of the driveway, call seans family to all come over, and go into super speed mode packing, getting kids (6 in all) set up with babysitter for the ENTIRE day, surprise the kids that ALL thier cousins are here!.
8:40-seans fam pulls in, babysitter arrives
8:55- We're all out the door and headed for the lake
9:00-pull in to Dutch Bros and stare down the dude cause i have no idea whats happening
9:05-hit i-5 and drive all the way to Bride Bay Resort cause i don' have one shred of awareness as to what i'm doing, turn around and head back to oasis (cause thats where Jones Valley is)
9:40-get to Jones Valley. Park. Unload. Find our double decker Patio boat with slide, woot woot. Decorate patio boat. Wait for friends and fam to arrive at dock.
10:15 get the text from Dan that he's picking up Sean (who thinks he's coming out to check out houseboats for his birthday in 2 weeks....yep, he saw the freakin confirmation letter from freakin houseboats.com in the mail....had to let him in on a little bit, but not really)
10:45-Sean and Dan come walking down dock with a sea of houseboats on either side of them (ours is in a row of about 20), and SURPRISE!!!!!

TOTAL AND COMPLETE SHOCK. SPEECHLESS. Which for Sean is another first.

11:15am-9:00pm-Ahhhhh, enjoy an encredible day out at the lake with great family, great friends, and shocked husband for the day....it really couldn't have been ANY better!!!

Humble Mom

I had to go run a couple arrends yesterday. Sean was home with the kids, so i was out alone. I rarely take the kids to things like Jamba Juice, it just ends up being so expensive. So I was out, alone, saw Jamba Juice and pulled in. Spontaneous, I know. So I'm standing in line behind a family of four. I LOVE to people watch. So I'm watching this family. Mom, Dad, and 2 daughters, one daughter probably in Jr. High, the other in early High Schoolish. They were such a sweet looking family. The girls just had a sweet and innocent air to them. The parents seemed happy. But I ended up watching the mom the most. She was beautiful. And not typical outward beauty(which she was), but it was as if I could feel her inward beauty radiating out. I was so enthrawled with them. I watched them all order their drinks and the Jr. High(ish) daughter walk forward to pay for all of them. The mom very sweetly went behind her after she got done paying, put her arm around her, kissed the top of her head and thanked her. Such a simple trasaction, but for some reason spoke volumes to me. I saw a daughter putting her own agenda aside and so generously paying for her and her families Jambas....but what seemed to stand out the most was that moms humility. I saw a strong woman standing in front of me, with 2 strong, selfless daughters...and I envied them.
How do i quietly lead my family? How do I humbly yet firmly discipline my children? How do I train them up in the way they should go? without getting angry, without losing my temper, without yelling all the time, without being an absent mom? How do I know that anything I am doing now is going to have an impact on them down the road? How can I be sure that how I mother isn't screwing them up for the rest of their lives?
Its so silly, but all I want is my Jr. High daughter to someday want to be with her family, and want to buy us all Jamba Juices. Because she WANTS to. Because i've done SOMETHING right.

Because I've been that humble mom.

Ikea

Spent the day at Ikea yesterday.

Sean comes home the other day and says "We're going to Ikea, I've got to buy 128 bowls for a wedding, and theirs are on sale"...so we went for it! Hoped in the car a couple days later, had a list, 3 kids, snacks, everyone else's lists, Lance's behind us (with their 3 kids)...ROAD TRIP. Get to Sac around noon, eat lunch at a surf place, get the kids frisbees and we hit Ikea.

1:30-walk into Ikea, heads held high, excitement in the air, 6 energetic kids at our feet.

1:35-Amazing Kids play area (day care) tell us they can't take our kids for another hour.

1:45-head up the escalator. Start browsing, still excitement energy running through us (well, me and the kids, at least)

1:50-6 kids jumping on chairs, couches, swinging around on chairs, jumping from one cart to the next...

1:52-excitement energy slowly draining with complete realization that WE'RE IN A PACKED GINORMOUS STORE WITH ALL KINDS OF BREAKABLE THINGS WITH 6 KIDS...WHAT WERE WE THINKING??!!!!

1:53-pull it together, pull the kids together, pep talk. Shop.

2:15-screw another hour, Sean and Dan take the stinkin kids back down to the day care place

2:15-3:30-Pick out bed

3:30-crap,kids are back...what just happened to that hour?!

4:00 frantically running around Ikea throwing random stuff into 5 carts Sean, Alyssa, Dan and I are all hauling (filled with JUST stuff for us)...kids are melting down

4:30-check out. Get kids ice cream and get the h*#% out of Ikea!!!

Crazy day, but all in all SUPER fun. I kinda love and thrive in chaos!! Thanks Lances for taggin along and being so patient while I took over an hour to pick out a freaking bed, which by the way, ended up being a twin. Awesome, now we get to go all the way back and re-get a bed....

Poor guy was so tired, he literally fell asleep IN the cart.....

Headaches

I get headaches. Everyday. Always have since I can remember. My mom ran the gammot of tests when I was in HS...never figured out why. Its wierd for me now NOT to have a headache. They are just part of my days. I wake up with them and go to bed with them. I'm fine with it....it is what it is.

So lately I've been feeling like I need to give up caffiene and sugar. I've been drinking so much (for me-2 cups a day), thats a ton. So i cut it out cold turkey a few days ago. And what irks me about my headaches is cutting out the caffiene=crazy bad headache for 3 days (to be expected). So now heres my predicament....I'm actually feeling good today, regular headache, but not bad like its been. But I know if I were to have a cup of coffee at some point in my future (which is destined to be sooner, rather than later) It'll give me a HUGE headache. If I have the littlest bite of sugar, HUGE headache. When I cut things out, and then add them back in.....always gives me a ridiculous headache.....WHAT THE HECK!! And taking them out, Ridicuous aches....hmph, trying to be good is just painful...

Last day

Last day of school: Party!! Below: Sky and her sweet teacher, Mrs. Adams

Skylar woke up excited and actually wanting to go to school today, since it was the last day. Couldn't have every day the last few months have been like this morning?? Its been such a rough couple of months for miss Skylar girl. I don't know what happened, what made her go from loving school to despising it, but I'm hoping 1st grade redeems itself for her. She suffers from chronic stomach aches, which what has made our mornings so miserable. Every night and every evening she complains of horrible pain. Been to the Dr, tried removing milk from her diet.....maybe its has just been nerves. At any rate, I'm SO happy its summer! No more getting up and having to be ready and out by 7:30! No more fighting in the mornings. No more waking up Ryder from his nap to go pick up Skylar. So happy. However, on the flip side of not rushing comes more arguing, boredom, more arguing, fighting....so my mission this summer is to get us on a schedule. Maybe breakfast, walk, craft, lunch, swim.....I'll work out the kinks....

Happy SUMMER!

Month in Review

April.

Ryder-22 mo.

-Fully submerge 2 whole rolls of toilet paper in toilet

-Dump out entire contents of Cream of Wheat all over kitchen and draw in it

-Color walls (with washable markers, various colors)

-Color his whole body (non-washable marker)

-Attempt to flush hair brush, toothbrushes, make-up, down toilet

-Flush rubberbands and bobby pins down toilet

-Dump out muliple glasses of water/milk/juice

-Dump out entire 1 gallon of apple juice all over kitchen floor

-Clog Toilet

-Replace old toilet

-Color on walls, once again

-Empty out contents of of Skylars RED paint all over my carpet

-Dump out Skylars nail polish on my floor

-Take 1/2 and 1/2 off counter and emtpy onto my floor

.....and this is just stuff off the top of my head.

He definitely gets plenty of spankens, however, doesn't seem to phase the darn kid...

Its a good thing, he's so stinkin cute!

Grandpa

My Grandpa passed away. Everything happened so fast. It seems like just a few days ago the Drs found a lump on his lungs...and were testing it to see if it was cancerous. What happened? All of a sudden he's gone. Even though his 88 years here were happy and full, and even though I know that He's in SUCH a better place, know that he's home, I still will miss him so terriibly. I will see him in every belt buckle I see, in every cowboy boot, in every silly piece of candy. I will hear him every time I walk in to my Grandmas house say "Hi my doll baby, there's my favorite girl (next to your Mother, of course)", I will see him through my Grandmas eyes when she thinks of him or tells stories of him. I will see him in the love of our family. The strength of our family. He leaves behind a strong legacy. Of friendship. Of faith. Of love. Of marriage. It is because of him we are who we are. My Grandpa was a great man. I celebrate his life, but i sure grieve the hole he's left behind.

Garden

Our Garden. Yep, we're gonna give it a shot. All the makings for salsa: tomotoes, jalepenos, cilantro. Green beans, zucchini, and basil. Starting small, if a success, then we've got plenty of room to grow next year. Just thinking of our very own Gafner salsa makes my mouth water....mmm...

Calebs Passtime

I'm sitting in the house and hear Caleb outside counting....so I went out to see what he was up to and this is what I find.....seems to be his new passtime. He does it now almost everday. Collecting snails from our plants...makes me happy to get them out of my pretty flowers and bushes....not happy to have them smashed all over the driveway. He collects, counts, smashes. Today I heard him count up to 21. Oi-e-vey.

Fluctuation

I was thinking tonight about what my body has gone through these past 6 years. And realized its really gone through the ringer. Bare with me here, I'm gonna take a trip down the past 6 years:

Got pregnant with Skylar-gained 50 lbs (don't know how it happened and really wouldn't wish it on anyone). Lost 20 lbs. Got pregnant right away with Caleb- gain back the 20 I just lost. Back to up 50. Move to Redding, join a gym, go crazy and lose 40 lbs. Feelin great. Get pregnant again with Ryder-Gain 25 lbs (not bad..worked my buns off). Lose 20. Blow a disc out in my back-gain 10ish. Lose 5. 6 more lbs to go. (Theres no way I'll EVER get back to my skinny pre-pregnancies weight...and I'm totally ok with that)

ALL IN 6 YEARS!!! MY POOR BODY!! But YAAY that theres an end in sight and no plans to get pregnant any time soon (plans for more kids...just not biological).

pic of Sean and I in Hawaii, pre pregancies

After Skylar, HOLY MOLY!! I came accross this the other day and jumped....

A little pice of Heaven

Climbing higher and higher on the lift. Looking back at the encridible views of the valley. Wind in your face. The rush of flying down the front of the mountain.
Today was one of those perfect days. No clouds, sunny, beautiful, crisp, fresh powder. What an encredible day. I needed it. I'm pretty sure theres gonna be snowboarding in Heaven.

Me and my Momma: 59 and snowboarding, shes amazing.
My nephew, Canaan.

Question

Question: Favorite Sunday?

Answer: Easter

Easter Sunday. Easily my favorite Sunday of the year. So much joy. So much celebration. This morning, as tired as I was, I woke up with so much joy. Kids hunted for thier baskets...joyful. Got ready and rushed out the door to be at church by 8:oo...joyful. Practice...sooo joyful. Church...ridiculous amount of joy.

Question: Why joy?

Answer: BECAUSE MY GOD, WHOM I LOVE AND SERVE AND LIVE MY LIFE FOR SACRIFICED HIS SON SO THAT HE COULD COME AND WALK ON THIS EARTH AND, OUT OF THE EXTREME AMOUNT OF LOVE HE HAS FOR US, DIE ON A CROSS. AND NOT JUST DIE AND STAY THERE...BUT DIE AND THREE DAYS LATER RISE FROM THE DEAD!!

And that amounts to my joy. I don't serve a dead God. I serve a God who is alive! and working. And moving. And stirring things up in His people. In me. I love that!! I love that we baptize on Easter Sundays. How awesome to put to death your old self and become a New Creation in Him on the day that we celebrate Him coming alive. I love our church. I love the family we have in our church. I love the joy I get from my God whos alive and my family He's placed me in.

I love Easter Sunday.

Scaleb and Cryder

This is Caleb and Ryder. But if you spend a day at my house you will hear me call them Scaleb and Cryder. When Caleb was born I was so used to everything being Skylar Skylar Skylar that going from Skylar to Caleb was a hard switch and translated into Scaleb. And the same went for Ryder. Yep. True story.

Throttle back!

This is a picture of Skylar at school. Sitting at her desk. WITH HER BOYFRIEND!!!

To my surprise Skylar has liked this boy for quite a while, and he has been her boyfriend for some time now. But I would never know any of this because my daughter doesn't talk to her mom about these kinds of things...in fact, she is a closed book. But another mom in the class was privvy to ALL kinds of information about MY daughter and her boyfriend! So I confront Skylar about this one day (after I had had time to calm down and collect my thoughts)...

Me-"Skylar, you have a boyfriend at school??" and fyi, this is me trying really hard to play this conversation really cool...
Sky- nervous laugh "nooo, not anymore"
Me- nervous laugh back "what do you mean not anymore?"
Sky- "We broke up, Mom"
Me- more nervous laughter "ohh, you broke up? how do you know what breaking up is?" HOW DOES SHE KNOW WHAT BREAKING UP IS?????!!!!
Sky- "I just don't like him anymore, ok"
Me- "ok, so, like, his name is Tyler?"
Sky- "HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?"
Me- "I know things Skylar, I'm your Mom....its my job...soo, you broke up? did he break up with you?"
Sky- "Ugh, nooo."
Me- "so did you guys really break up?
Sky-"no"
Me- again, the nervous laughter "ohh, cool...so, how are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend? do you like sit together at lunch?"
Sky-"Pshh, no, i sit with Kensey!"
Me-PHEW "so do you play together at recess"
Sky-"yah, he chases me"
Me-"ohhh, fun,"
ME-"so does he hold your hand?"
Sky- "EW, NO MOM!!"
Me- deep breath, bracing myself for this next question "has he kissed you?"
Sky- "EEEEWWWWW!!!! NOOOO!!!!! THATS GROSS MOM!!!"

HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF

WHATS HAPPENING? WHY AM I HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH MY 5 YEAR OLD???!!!

Our Dog

Tahoe. I've blogged about him a couple of times. Well, we got rid of him. I feel a little sad that we no longer have a family dog, but most of me is sooo relieved! I constantly felt so guilty of the minimal amount of attention and exercise we gave to him. Poor dog spent most his days all alone tearing up our back yard. So luckily an amzing couple from our Life Group have been wanting a puppy and after spending some time with him one night decided they were taking him home! Like I said, i'm a little sad, but I am so happy that Tahoe gets the love and exercise a one year old puppy needs....and we are now in the process of landscaping our back yard....we are stoked!!

(I would normally add a picture right about here of Tahoe, in remebrance of him....but our computer with ALL my pictures is broken. Thanks to Nick, our house-mate, for generously allowing me (of all people) to use your computer to do my bi-weekly email/FB/blogging rounds)

Dinner Mania

The evening hours from 4-7 are the most chaotic hours of my day. It takes me at least an hour (not including shopping and creating menus) to prepare dinner. And as a women, I put a lot of effort into dinner. Every day I try my best to have the house picked up and the kids happy by the time Sean walks through the door. And within a half an hour of Sean walking through the door, I try my best to have dinner ready and on the table. Hot. Hots a key point here. Cause the hour preceeding sean walking through the door is complete chaos. Kids are melting down, tired from there day, sooo hungry they can't possibly imagine waiting 1 more hour for food, asking every 2 minutes when Dads gonna be home, and when they can eat. Yet, in their exaustion there's a certain hype level, that I haven't been able to figure out quite yet. Maybe its the fact they haven't seen there dad for 9 hours, maybe its low sugar levels, maybe its the possibility of dessert after dinner.....but they are crazed. And I am crazed. I tend to be an over achiever, so having the house perfect when Sean walks in is very important to me. So in a whirlwind I sweep through the house, prepare dinner, set the table, clean up from making dinner, clean the kitchen (i like it to look like i haven't put any effort into making anything, not right, but I have issues I need to work on).....

So all this to put a hot, clean, delicious dinner out for it to be consumed and dumped, and spilt, and thrown, in less than 15 minutes.....

I'm back to square one....whats the friggin point???

Back in it

Been a while, decided I needed to throw an "update" blog out there. Been good. Life was really busy there for a bit, but has now slowed back down into a nice chill pace. I like chill. More time just being home, playin with the kids, having time for them....thats what its about. I hate when we get so busy doin this and that, always telling the kids "we'll do that later", or "not right now, mom's busy".....i feel like such a lame mom when life's like that. I have a feeling God didn't create us to be busy. I have a feeling thats Satan's best strategy.

All through January we, as a church, fasted from noise. Vox Dei- hearing the voice of God. Sean and I cut out TV (Mon-Fri) (couldn't cut play-off's on the weekends). It was so encredible. Living simpler. Our computer happened to break (of course) in that month, so i was out TV, and internet...which strangely had no affect on me. Didn't miss FB one time....

Anyway, put on our Stirring Womens Retreat a couple weekends ago, which was encredible. God did a lot, of course. He usually does on retreats. I love the honosty of our women. 80 women barring thier hearts, re-connecting with each other, linking arms, empowering one another, encouraging one another. It was powerful. So i've been reeling from that weekend. Came home to Sean leaving for his 2nd annual Tahoe trip. He and 6 other guys crammed into Hartly's Armada...kinda wish i was invited.....it was good tho, for me, had some great kids time. However, Sean came home to one TIRED wife!!

Other than that, just been chillin. Sittin on some stuff I feel God calling me to with Women and encouraging the women He's placed around me. And most importantly, lovin my time with my kids and husband (now that we're finally all home and together).....together is good. No crazy schedule is so good. Simple is goooood.

Thats my update. Really scattered update. But an update it was.

Training

We have a little chef in the making around here.

But first, let me back up and say Sean and I have a business we like to call Gafner Catering. Seriously. Have our own personal business liscesce, website, and car sticker that all say Gafner Catering. After 9 years of doing caterings for people on the side and 9 years of building up our name and business, we finally decided to go official with it. Feels good. Its something we love to do and have found are pretty good at. Pretty conveniant having a chef for a husband and all. We do mostly weddings, but have also done special events. Well, something happened (something like the Lord really blessing us), and we are booked one a month through the summer. Sean and I had talked a while back and had decided one a month is PLENTY with kids, and our already busy schedule.

So yesterday we had a wedding. 300 hundred people at this wedding. Just tons of desserts and chocolate fountain goodies. So what do we do when catering a 300 person wedding with nothing but cakes and chocolate and candy bars, and rice krispies, and strawberries, and cheesecakes? We bring in the kids! Perfect time to start training up the ones behind us. Skylar came in did AMAZING! (I think it was the apron I specially made for her for her big debut as a caterer)...I was sooo impressed! 5 hours of work, from a 5 1/2 year old and not one single complaint. Encredible. She washed and cut and skewered, and ate, and nibbled, and skewered, and nibbled. Impressive. She wants to be in the family business as a caterer when she gets older :) I love it. We will soon need to change our name to Gafner Family Catering!!! So proud of my daughter, proud of my amazing chef of a husband, just proud all around :)

Lost

I lost my baby....I am having such a hard time with this miscarriage for some reason. Maybe it has just been this season in particular thats been hard thats making it seem harder....I don't know. Its been such a tough, emotional week. As shocked as I was to find out I was pregnant, and as crazy as it seemed to be pregnant with my back as jacked as it is, I was really excited about it...

.....I've just been so sad. So lost. Not quite sure how to be, what to say...not really wanting to say a whole lot, or be a whole lot....

But today I feel like a little more me. I have my kids home, my husband home, and am emmersed back into life. A busy home, busy kids...these things make me happy. Being with Sean makes me whole, watching my kids play and make up stories, and musicals, and slam balls all over the house, and ram monster trucks into anything in their line of sight. These kids, this Husband, this life, is good. Its been a rough week...rough few months, but I feel like I am on the up-swing.....up-swings are good....